If you are a big fan of Halloween and ever wondered why we don’t do the same thing in spring, a panel of property experts at Manchester’s Tech Week shared just the tales of terror for you. On the “Reimagining offices” panel, they sat in a circle and shared their worst workspace experiences.
Manisha Mistry, COO at R2 Factory, part of Rolls-Royce, began her story by describing a dark and gloomy office, in which she was stuck furthest away from the limited windows. “All I got was humming all day and darkness,” she recalled. “So I became a bat in that sense.” Creepy.
Kate Pearman, COO at Plexal, took the baton, saying that she was once offered a “poisoned apple” – she came to work in one of the beautiful, recently restored buildings in King’s Cross, but nobody told her it had a massive issue with rats.
Similarly, Stephen Joyce, director of people and culture at Sykes Cottages, recalled his first days at an old council office where mushrooms were growing on the inside of the walls. Cue howls of terror from the panel, but Joyce continued: “They had like a pen mark around them. So, I asked ‘What’s that?’ And it was a competition. Everyone working in this office picked one to see who would end up with the biggest.”
All good fun(gi) in the workplace.
An EG mistake to make
Pop! Ping! That’s the sound of an e-mail dropping into EG’s newsdesk inbox just as Diary is pouring itself a glass of fizz to round off a busy week. It’s from the M&A reporter at the Wall Street Journal in New York, demanding we give them a call to discuss a sensitive story involving EG. It wants to run the story immediately. Intrigued, but knowing somewhat how these pesky journalists behave, we e-mail them back: “Could you let us know what the story is about?”
“It would be much better if you just call me,” comes the response.
“Well, not really,” we reply, “as surely you want to speak to the appropriate person.”
Silence.
We respond again: “Also, just checking, you do mean EG, the real estate news and data platform, right? You’re not after EG Group, the Issa brothers’ retail conglomerate are you? Or that well-known Scottish gin company that has a logo similar to our old one?”
An extended silence follows. Then another ping!
“Thanks for clarifying, I was not looking for the real estate data and news service.”
Turns out they weren’t looking for Edinburgh Gin either, but trying to get some commentary on EG Group (the Issa brothers’ company that comes up top when you search “EG Group” in Google – top journo tip there for you) potentially selling its £13bn forecourts business to Canadian convenience store owner Couche-Tard. A great scoop for the WSJ, that was immediately followed up by Reuters. In the exact same way: “Dear EG…” Nope, wrong one.
Phoenix rising
Were Brian Potter, Jerry St Clair and Ray Von busy placing online bids in SDL Property Auctions’ sale last week? Diary likes to imagine they were among the bidders for lot 35, the Phoenix Social Club. The club sold for £45,000 from a guide of £35,000. The building is let at a passing rent of £3,000 per annum, but the site could offer development opportunities for flats, light industrial or perhaps a hit sitcom. The only downside is that this Phoenix is in Stanley, County Durham, not Bolton, Lancashire.
What’s in a name?
“The board is aware that many of the company’s shareholders have invested in SLIPIT because of the attractive level of income generated,” wrote the chair of Standard Life Investment Property Income Trust, James Clifton-Brown, in its annual return last week. But we know for a fact that a number of investors – well, at least two – only stumped up because they enjoy the name. SLIPIT. Just rolls off the tongue. Shall I add it to your portfolio? Oh, go on then… SLIPIT in. What a shame that the Abrdn/Standard Life separation means that it will have to change its name. We guess SPLITIT would be too glib, but Abrdn Property Income Trust, the proposal being recommended by the board, just isn’t as much fun. Perhaps it could follow the lead of its parent’s vowel removal and become Abrdnprprtyincmtrst? Or, if that sounds too much like a Welsh town, how about Abrdn Real Management Property Income Trust – ARMPIT for short?
Where CRE meets tech?
One might expect attendees at a CRETech conference to be at the cutting edge of all things modern and, well, tech, right? But, while there were plenty of hipster haircuts and fashion-forward ensembles on show, there were also those who hadn’t got the memo that blue suits and ties are so last decade. One such attendee was heard to mutter: “I just hope I die before I have to figure out what the metaverse is.” They’re talking ‘bout Diary’s generation there. With a conference like this, we guess you can lead CRE to tech, but you can’t always make it drink.
Contact diary@eg.co.uk
