The pumpkins are already out in Diary’s house ahead of Halloween on Monday, and the world of property PR has also got its (haunted) house in order with a steady stream of tricky treats in our inbox. Of course, we have house prices, which according to Revolution Brokers, command an average premium of 33% in the “nation’s most haunted postcodes” (not a thing).
Examples include TW10 in Surrey, where to live near Ham House, said to be haunted by a woman in black, will set you back a hair-raising £912,308. And, obviously, street signs are important. GetAgent tells us roads with “Grave” and “Dead” in their name command by far the highest prices among various creepy possibilities. Meanwhile, Giraffe360 has found 86% of UK estate agents would have no problem listing a haunted house for sale, with 20% admitting they would raise prices for properties that come with a spectral sitting tenant. There’s no doubt, though, that agent John D Wood & Co is winning this spooky season, with its Halloween-inspired window displays spotlighting “ghoulishly great prime property listings” – such as Virginia Slaughter, in Berzerkshire, and Frightchapel Road, RIP P3R (pictured). Now that’s our kind of address.
Smashing news
They may be thwarting millennials from buying houses, along with all those pesky coffees and streaming services, but there is no doubt that avocados are big business. So much so that Mission Produce, a “global leader in avocado distribution”, is set to open a “world-class” 101,659 sq ft facility at Goodman’s Crossways Commercial Park in Dartford, Kent. Mission very-much possible is to use the highly sustainable building as a state-of-the-art ripening, packing and forward-distribution centre, expected to help streamline import logistics and reduce transit times to UK customers. All meaning you can get your hands on the delicious fruit, even if you don’t avocado.
Drinking to forget
Current events are enough to leave even experienced investors reaching for a stiff drink. At a recent investment seminar hosted by consultancy Prideview Group, the audience of more than 100 private investors was polled at the start of the evening on why they had turned up. Most (55%) were there for the market update, while almost a quarter (24%) were there because they were looking to buy. However, 18% admitted it was the free drinks – and who could blame them? Those looking to buy may have needed a bit of Dutch courage after seeing that only 2% had turned up to the event at the Royal Society of Medicine in Marylebone, W1, because they were looking to sell. And the 2% who came because they had a finance enquiry probably felt like finishing the bottle after Acuitus director David Margolis reminded them the cost of five, 10 and 15-year money had risen by 400% over the past year. Make ours a double!
Up our street with a padel
As a keen, though very irregular tennis player (in every sense), Diary has long been intrigued by padel – a curiosity piqued by knowing someone who competes to a high level. Perhaps we can learn more next month at Westfield London, where an exhibition court will be installed in the central atrium from 5-7 November to offer visitors the chance to try out “the world’s fastest-growing sport”. There will be celebrity pro-am matches, coaching sessions and more, with special guests including Andy and Jamie Murray, Andrew Castle and Annabel Croft. The pop-up Instantpadel court is a new world-unique design that doesn’t require any major groundwork, and can be erected in six hours – which could prove crucial in bringing padel to the masses. It all sounds great, though seems a bit harsh that the shopping centre’s own PR has titled the e-mail “Westfield London jumps on the padel bandwagon”.
Who ya’ gonna call? Jargon-busters!
Little makes Diary’s skin crawl more than business speak, so there may be no scarier tome to read this Halloween than The Book of Jargon — Real Estate & REITs, just announced by Latham & Watkins. To be fair, the US-based resource is seeking to “demystify” the often-complex legal and regulatory terminology, acronyms and slang of the real estate industry. It covers more than 1,000 terms – from “abandonment” to “zoning ordinance”. With terms such as levelling up and investment zones shifting in and out of our lexicon so fast, fingers crossed for a UK version to keep track.
Clarke spent
Speaking of levelling up, department secretary Simon Clarke was due to give evidence to the levelling up select committee this week on where the funding was coming from and going to. But the session suddenly vanished from the schedule. Could that be because the government is embarrassed by the fact that, of the £4.8bn levelling up fund and the £1.7bn allocated, just £187m has actually been dished out? Nope. Turns out Clarke requested a reschedule, pointing out he had barely had a chance to get on top of his brief and might be out of a job in a few days anyway. After all, he was a Truss loyalist who then openly called for the return of Boris. In the end, he chose to fall on his sword, standing down after holding his post for just 49 days. Lupsec a fresh victim for the lettuce?
Share your tales from the quirky side of the property industry by e-mailing diary@eg.co.uk
