Realty bites
Getting stuck next to an estate agent may feel like the ultimate dinner party death sentence, but what if they happen to be a zombie with an insatiable appetite for human flesh? That’s the premise of new Netflix series Santa Clarita Diet – which cranks the idea of the nightmare agent up several notches. Drew Barrymore stars as a well-to-do Californian realtor who joins the ranks of the walking dead. Diary devoured it. There can’t be many who would use an open house to handpick their next victim – where’s the commission? But if EG readers think they can dismiss the comedy/horror series as a laugh at the expense of their resi counterparts, they are not spared. “What kind of realtor are you?” screams one soon-to-be-consumed client as Barrymore goes in for the kill, mid-viewing. “Residential,” she replies. “But commercial on request.”
Gazumping on the menu
John Burbage is taking the plunge and bringing his logistical expertise to London. As reported last week in EGi, Burbage Realty is opening at 37 Soho Square, W1 in April. Making the move to the capital is a huge decision, and finding the right space is crucial. Luckily, Burbage found just the spot while leafing through EG on a Saturday morning – in a snippet reporting it had been taken by celebrity chef Jason Atherton. Burbage loved the profile of the building so much that he checked in with the vendor first thing Monday to check the state of play. Discovering that a deal had yet to be signed, he stepped in and completed terms. Fingers crossed the move didn’t leave a bad taste in the chef’s mouth.
Love is… finding the right property
If you wait long enough for a contrived, Valentine-inspired press release to grace this very page, then Cupid (or someone) will eventually strike. Honours go to Peabody, which has seen fit to fire off a bulletin shamelessly espousing the benefits of shared ownership at its St John’s Way scheme in Clapham, SW11 “just in time for Valentine’s Day”. The loved-up developer boasts that the scheme’s location allows residents to take advantage of travel connections “ideal for romantic getaways”. It doesn’t end there, either. These are “contemporary apartments to fall in love with”,. And “the location is perfect for romantic dinners at home”. Peabody, you had us at hello.
Well-disciplined decoration
Diary has neither read nor seen Fifty Shades of Grey, which, it can only assume, offers the ultimate guide to tastefully understated interior decoration. Things clearly get more adventurous indoors in the sequel, Fifty Shades Darker, released this weekend, which may explain why the folks at home services marketplace Plentific.com are so keen to share how to create your very own “red room”. The advice involves finding the right painter (naturally), handyman (makes sense), locksmith (unusual, but good to be security conscious) and sound-proofer (always pays to be considerate of neighbours). No explanation necessary for having a cleaner on-hand… Diary may check out the film, who knows what other tips it will pick up?
Homesopoly’s where the heart is
Real estate, television and board games are three of Diary’s favourite things (not necessarily in that order). What if they could all be combined into a single leisure pursuit? Thanks to the good people at Homes.com and NeoMam Studios, Monopoly has been given a TV upgrade. The Homesopoly board and cards (available at www.homesopoly.tv) features Frank Gallagher’s Shameless house in the Old Kent Road slot and Ranya’s mansion from Nashville in the top dollar Mayfair position. Famous TV bars take the role of stations, the Jail square gets an Orange Is The New Black makeover and Chance cards are rebranded as Quantum Leap. But, for Diary, the smart money is on the set of green properties – less than $1,000 scores you Don Draper’s Upper East Side apartment, Frasier Crane’s Seattle des-res and the Underwoods’ Washington home in House of Cards. Now that’s what we call a portfolio.
