Diary: Do not adjust your set

You can keep your Sopranos, Mad Men and Breaking Bad; for Diary the true golden age of television will always be the 1970s – the era of Porridge, Parky and Pan’s People. It was while bingeing on a BBC4 marathon of Parkinson interviews recently that we came across one particular gem from 1973. Picture the panel, consisting of yet-to-be Dowager Countess of Grantham Dame Maggie Smith, then-poet laureate Sir John Betjeman (a poet! On Saturday night telly!) and Carry On stalwart Kenneth Williams. Naturally, talk soon turned to planning. After Sir John – author of the immortal lines “Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough!” – offered his views on preservation, Dame Maggie replied that, if we leave all the old stuff standing, “what else can we build?” This fired up Williams to rail on the “dreadfulness” of Elephant & Castle, which, he went on, “used to be a place of humanity and warmth and people, which is now just a concrete desert, and a mess, and an absolute disgrace”. Angrier still, the man who played WC Boggs in Carry on at Your Convenience, thundered: “What they’ve turned the Euston Centre into is the same thing. Just a blight.” If the judges on the next series of Strictly Come Dancing don’t give us their views on business rates reform, Diary is demanding its licence fee back. Same old brand new As anyone who has seen The Lego Movie will know, everything is awesome. But here in reality, a more grounded mantra holds true for the industry giant formerly known as Land Securities Group. “Everything is experience” is its philosophy, and, for reasons not quite 100% clear, this has led it to “evolve its brand” and take on a new name, Landsec. Chief executive Robert Noel takes a stab at explaining: “Our updated brand reflects our culture, our people and our approach, putting the experience of our customers, communities, employees and partners at the heart of everything we do.” So no wonder he sees it as a “natural evolution”. But going to the trouble of rebranding into something that everybody already calls you? Diary wonders where the firm got that idea… How to lose a marginal seat When Diary one day commits itself to seeking public office, it will be with the ultimate campaign bible firmly in hand: How to Win a Marginal Seat by Gavin Barwell – the erstwhile housing minister who suddenly found himself seeking new opportunities after the election result in Croydon Central. He may have secured a (challenging) new role for himself as Theresa May’s chief of staff, but fingers crossed he still has time to write the natural sequel. Such an ice Guy Diary is all for bosses who show employees how much they are appreciated. But, as random acts of kindness go, the gesture made by Guy Grainger, JLL’s EMEA chief executive, takes some licking. To celebrate a milestone birthday, he served up a special treat. As he tweeted: “You’re only 50 once so I decided to celebrate by giving everyone in the @JLL office #free ice cream. 500 scoops later I started to feel old!” If it’s ice cream for 50, what will he do when he turns 99? The celestial clock ticks at LREF The London Real Estate Forum is a two-day fiesta of debate, discussion and networking, during which there can ordinarily be no excuse for clock-watching. But we can forgive any attendees at this year’s event who had their heads turned by a truly eye-catching timepiece. Well, a virtual reality “visualisation” of it, at any rate. ALUNA (pictured above) is a larger-than-Stonehenge landmark-in-the-making that promises to be the world’s biggest moon and tide clock. Designed by artist Laura Williams as a “place of celebration and connection”, and developed by an international team of engineers, architects, designers, environmentalists, astronomers and oceanographers, ALUNA is made up of three vast recycled glass rings that, apparently, “track the moon’s cycles and influences on the earth with slowly moving light”. It’s in the final stages of its sustainable build, and will be powered naturally by the sun and the moon’s tides, so it should run for generations to come at its eventual home on the Greenwich Peninsula. Lucky LREF patrons got an early high-tech sneak peek of how it will look, courtesy of Google VR. They do say time and tide wait for no man…