Derby on a high
Negotiating a deal is tricky enough without criminals breaking into the property and turning it into one of the UK’s biggest cannabis farms. That is exactly what happened in Derby, where Intu is in talks to do a deal with Derby City Council on transferring the freehold of the 80,000 sq ft former Debenhams store on Victoria Road as part of an exchange of properties. A tip-off led to police raiding the mainly empty building and discovering 3,000 cannabis plants in a labyrinth of rooms on its upper levels. A source said: “Apparently the electricity bill was eight times larger than usual.” Reports suggest the haul could be linked to another huge cannabis farm recently discovered in an industrial unit in south Derbyshire, where a further 1,500 plants were found. Judging by the geographical position of the farms, it would appear even dope dealers know the importance of location, location, location when it comes to mass distribution.
Language lunacy
You know those cringey acronyms that creep into everyday office use? Diary has picked up on the latest abomination, used when two people want to collaborate on something: “Shall we JV on that?” Please, just no.
Know your limits
When discussing the upcoming excesses of MIPIM, Diary was told by one well known member of the industry how such a combination of drinking and speaking events led to their exit from a previous, non-property-related, career. After a few beverages they had the task of speaking at a conference the next morning. This they managed to do – apparently – with some aplomb and settled down to wait for the rest of the programme to finish before they could sneak off to bed. Unfortunately, what seemed like only seconds later, they were rudely awakened, still on stage, by a furious boss desperately trying to stop their snores echoing around the room. The person in question was still wearing his microphone.
King for a day
There’s no denying that we are among peers whose longevity and expertise in the industry puts them in the class of property royalty. And as for actual royalty, blue blood runs through the corridors and boardrooms of industry firms, too. So we can dismiss a little confusion from outsiders between the majestic and the mere mortals, surely. Just ask Ciaran Bird, CBRE’s UK managing director, who welcomed a gaggle of eight-year-old children into his office recently as part of the Enabling Enterprise programme and found himself treated with the kind of reverence reserved for a king. As he bade them farewell, one bowed down low and offered a “thank you, your majesty”, leaving Bird rather bemused.
Sprechen sie Deutsch?
We can’t resist a secret that doesn’t stay one for long and at Propski they rolled in like it was Christmas. Our favourite came from JLL chief executive Guy Grainger, who, when asked at EG’s Question Time event to reveal something he had never told a colleague before, it was that he has a pretty decent grasp of German. The thing is, a certain EMEA chief executive at JLL who goes by the name of Christian Ulbrich doesn’t know it – or at least he didn’t, and Grainger just thought that one day “he might say something in German I want to hear”. That clanger was followed by a quickfire answer from GVA’s Rob Bould, who admitted: “I haven’t told anybody I’m here.” Mum’s the word, gents.
Snow joke on the slopes
Propski delegates might just be back on an even keel after a week of networking Alpine-style, but the tales are still trickling in. Many a giggle is being shared at the expense of one snow-goer who, after a hard day’s après, was caught short between a drinking establishment and his chalet. Not being able to wait, he found a little spot to turn the snow yellow. But before he was able to fasten himself up again, the chap fell flat on his face. It was some time before he could muster the effort to hoist himself up. The result was a particularly uncomfortable freezing sensation on at least one extremity.
