Over in the US, this time of year brings Groundhog Day, an annual tradition that celebrates an otherwise largely unheralded creature emerging from the darkness, blinking into the light. Over here we have something similar: New Housing Minister Day.
Sure, we may have skipped the last one (doubtless due to the pandemic), but 24 months after Chris Pincher became the 11th incumbent in as many years, lo, we welcome (checks notes) Stuart Andrew into the role, and commence our fast and furious research into his credentials. And to our delight, we find that not only was he deputy chief whip before now, but that he hails from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, which, as we all know, is a great sign. And, for sure, the appointment is good news for him.
As Nick Walkley points out on Twitter, during his tenure at Homes England, he worked with six housing ministers in four years, only one of which failed to move on to a more senior position – though the notorious stepping stone appears to have been a somewhat slippery one for Pincher, whose future remains uncertain at the time of writing.
Chai dudgeon
The good people of Chichester are apparently furious about the claim by the Office for National Statistics that they have the lowest “life satisfaction” in the country. The report – which was based on their own responses – is simply one more thing making Cicestrian life unbearable. Although, to be fair, they appear to be less annoyed with its findings, and the “pollution and overdevelopment” at their root, than they are by The Times spelling the town’s nickname as “Chai” rather than “Chi”.
Kirstie Allsop is also venting her frustration with The Times, saying that the paper twisted her words about housing affordability and that it just wanted to “bitch for clicks”. The newspaper, you are sure to have seen, reported her as saying that all young people had to do to get on the housing ladder was stop buying chai lattes (should that be chi lattes?) cancel their gym and Netflix memberships, never go on holiday and move in with mum and dad until they could afford somewhere miles away that wasn’t suitable. But apparently what Allsop really said was… erm… exactly that. But, you know, in a more popular way. Just as long as they don’t move to Chai. Sorry, Chi!
Sir David is ’gram-worthy
Without doubt the highlight in Diary’s social calendar this week is a sneak preview of a new pop-up experience on Regent Street, inspired by the BBC’s Green Planet series, hosted by landlord the Crown Estate and “powered by EE 5G”. There, we are promised, “through the magic of augmented reality” we will take an “immersive journey into the secret kingdom of plants”. From the Amazon Rainforest to the Sonoran Desert and the South African Cape, we will be exploring six “digitally enhanced” worlds, which all sounds rather splendid – especially with Sir David Attenborough as our guide. Not the real Sir David, alas, but a virtual facsimile – which, if anything, is even better. For anyone of Diary’s generation, there is nothing more futuristic than a hologram – and a hologram of a national treasure is about as exciting as it gets.
Sub optimal
Diary added an interesting item to its always-lengthy eBay watch list this week – an electricity substation in Bradford. Quite the investment option for the right buyer. Set on a 300 sq ft plot of land on the edge of a golf course, the seller presents it as an “exciting opportunity to purchase a building with land for a very low price”. For the past 60 years, a major electricity company has been paying a mere £8 a year in rent, but that lease expires at the end of the year, presenting the winner with two intriguing possibilities. One, a request for a lease renewal at market rent, which, it is suggested could reflect the increase in property values over the past six decades.
“When this lease was originally taken out in the 1960s the average price of a house was only £2,300, now the average price is more than 100 times higher,” the listing says. “Most new leases are index-linked to inflation, giving a guaranteed inflation-proof income for years to come.”
Enticing indeed. Option B? The freeholder takes possession.
“This property could quite easily, subject to planning, be used as a workshop or indeed a small office,” the seller posits. “The freeholder could also apply for planning permission to demolish the existing building and replace it with a house.”
Small wonder that, with days still to go until the auction ends on 13 February, 37 bids have been placed, with the price up to £5,200. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, which, as we all know, is a great sign. And, for sure, the appointment is good news for him. As Nick Walkley points out on Twitter, during his tenure at Homes England, he worked with six housing ministers in four years, only one of which failed to move on to a more senior position – though the notorious stepping stone appears to have been a somewhat slippery one for Pincher, whose future remains uncertain at time of writing.
Contact diary@eg.co.uk
