The arrival of Jed Rothstein’s WeWork documentary on platforms that Brits can legally watch has got Diary thinking: could it be time for an actual WeWork movie? None of this beautifully crafted, meticulously researched documentary nonsense, we are talking an all-out Hollywood retelling!
Richard Gere would be a shoe-in for Jamie Dimon. And the comparison is so flattering that he might not even sue. For the charmingly hapless Masayoshi Son? How about equally cherubic Japanese actor Masi Oka. Matt Damon could work as co-founder Miguel McKelvey. While he may lack McKelvey’s 6’8” height, he can certainly match his “who stole my company” energy. And Rebekah Neumann should obviously be played by Gwyneth Paltrow, her cousin, although that then begs the question of who would play Gwyneth Paltrow?
But it is the plum role of Adam Neumann (pictured above, left) that would be the trickiest casting. Someone charismatic, mysterious. Perhaps with a bit of a messianic air, but not too… well, creepy. Twitter has suggested Neumann’s soulful namesake, Adam Driver, while others think Andrew Garfield in a wig would be perfect for the part.
But surely no one could match Neumann’s sheer hubris better than the writer, director, producer and star of the world’s worst film, The Room. Tommy Wiseau (pictured) as Adam Neumann in WeWork: The Movie. It’s going to make $47bn, we guarantee it.
Coal runnings
It is understandable that community interest company National Pride has a bit of a thing for coal. After all, it is redeveloping the Barony Colliery in East Ayrshire as an “eco-therapy wellness park” – whatever that may be – and has just bought another 976-acre former coal mine in Fife.
But its latest involvement might be carrying it all a bit too far. National Pride is the new sponsor for the resurrected Scottish Coal Carrying Championships, a feat of fossil fuel fetching that sees contestants lug a sack of coal through the village of Kelty. Fifty kilos over a kilometre? That’s definitely carrying it too far.
Hydrogen green, dilly dilly, hydrogen blue…
Meanwhile, the government’s commitment to replace fossil fuel with hydrogen fuel in 3m households is undoubtedly a Good Thing. So why are the environmentalists far from happy? Mainly, it seems, with the fact that the new strategy is as keen to promote “blue” hydrogen as “green”.
Research last week from Stanford and Cornell showed that blue hydrogen is actually 20% worse for the planet than simply setting fire to fossil fuels. The reason for this is that blue hydrogen is extracted by burning fossil fuel gas. Green hydrogen is the trickier one, extracted using electrolysis from water.
Clearly, the government is just confused, as opposed to deliberately greenwashing a plan to burn more fossil fuels. After all, blue hydrogen does sound like the one you’d get from water, right? And green hydrogen could conceivably be the one you get when you burn a load of ancient plankton.
Lost the plot?
Nearly 100,000 new homes could be built in London by developing some woefully underutilised land. Namely, allotments. In fact, get all of the UK’s selfish and self-sufficient gardeners to hand over their plots and you could build 600,000 homes. Get Robert Jenrick on the phone – the housing crisis has been solved! Let the PD rules be rewritten! Death to the cabbages!
Actually, think of how many more homes could be built if there were no parks either. Or gardens. Those guys at GetAgent.co.uk are really onto something. Hang on, there’s a note attached to the research… “Rather than sacrifice the nation’s allotments, there is a great deal of brownfield and wrongly classified green belt land that could go some way to helping deliver more homes,” says founder Colby Short. “But until the government decides to pull its finger out, it will continue to sit unused and of no use to anybody.”
Well, you could use some of it as an allotment…
Cool in Croydon
Croydon Council tells us it is spending £50k to create a “Croydon Urban Room” in an empty shop unit in town. Could this be some sort of experimental leisure experience? An offbeat bar, so achingly hip that ex-Croydonites Stormzy and Kate Moss will be begging to be let in? “Sorry, Kate, you’re yesterday’s news…”
Alas, no. It is, in fact, just a room where people can share their views on the centre’s redevelopment. Yeah, cool.
Don’t go changing
Changing Rooms is back. The iconic “look how badly we messed up your house” show has returned to the airwaves after 17 years in the wilderness.
And how things have changed since 2004! Smiley Carol Smillie is no longer at the helm, replaced by Anna Richardson. But not the Anna Ryder Richardson who used to be on the show. And something else seems different too… the punters seem to like the end results!
But don’t worry, some things haven’t changed. Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen is on board and still dressed like Satan’s sofa. In fact, he seems to have been preserved in hair gel since the last show. But we hear there is a picture in his attic that looks… well, almost as ravaged as one of those poor rooms.
Share your tales from the quirky side of the property industry by e-mailing diary@eg.co.uk
