Last time Diary moved into a new home, we celebrated with a takeaway. But, for the very first residents of Battersea Power Station, a more elaborate commemoration was clearly called for. After all, it’s not every day that a decades-long redevelopment project finally bears fruit. Thus, rather than a pizza and beer, the new homeowners were welcomed with a stunning light show together with performances from the local Battersea Choir and London Symphony Orchestra. For the first time ever, all four chimneys were lit up, and the power station was emblazoned with messages such as “welcome home” and “the power is on”. Residents were handed the keys to their new homes in Switch House West, the first major element of BPS to complete. They will be joined by neighbours in Boiler House and Switch House East in the coming months, and retail and F&B brands will begin fitting out their units later in the year ahead of the big opening to the public in 2022. Things have come a long way since the London landmark was decommissioned in the 1980s, as recognised with a suitably mountainous metaphor from Simon Murphy, CEO of Battersea Power Station Development Company: “We can confidently say that the Everest of real estate, which the Power Station was once famously nicknamed, has finally been scaled.”
Schitt happens
Diary clearly isn’t the only one that binge-watched all six seasons of Schitt’s Creek during lockdown. So did the folks at Money.co.uk, according to whom: “Everyone is talking about Schitt’s Creek, the Netflix sitcom that sees a family of newly broke millionaires forced to live in their one remaining asset – a backwater town they bought as a joke. And one thing’s for sure, it’s got some people thinking, where will I go if the schitt hits the fan?” They looked into the towns across the world you can actually buy, and possibly declare yourself mayor of, with options “from Wales to Sweden”. And, also, Arizona. First, the entire Welsh village of Aberllefenni is on the market for a cool £1.5m, and is said to be the “perfect investment for outdoor enthusiasts, thanks to its idyllic walking routes, canoeing opportunities, and the peaceful foothills of the Cader Idris mountains.” Sounds delightful, even if it comes with the warning that some of the desolate buildings are in need of work. Those with deeper pockets might like the sound of Sätra Brunn, in Sweden’s Västmanland County, an “extensive settlement” encompassing around 59 sprawling acres that is home to picturesque residences, a hotel, preschool, restaurant, church and gym. The village’s annual turnover was around £2.8m in 2019, and, apparently, Sätra Brunn has been bottling its natural spring water since 2015, offering potentially lucrative opportunities. But, if you want the full Rose family experience, Pearce, Arizona sounds more like it. A snip at a mere £680,000, Pearce was once home to one of the richest gold mines in all of Arizona, but when the nuggets dried up, it was left abandoned. Featuring original store façades, a working blacksmith shop and airy living quarters it’s yours for the taking. Actually, now that Diary thinks about it, forget Schitt’s Creek – this sounds like the beginning of a real-life Westworld.
Let’s talk about IPSX
Readers of EG were treated to quite the mental image last week, when M7 chairman Richard Croft described completing the first listing on the new IPSX stock exchange as feeling like he’d climbed Everest in his underpants. (Or, presumably, Battersea Power Station.) But here’s another snippet from the cutting room floor. Croft’s wife has her own, we assume affectionate, nickname for IPSX, which Croft himself is also a shareholder in. After mishearing Croft when he first started talking about the venture years ago, she now insists on referring to IPSX as “I pay for sex”. From the newest market in the world to its oldest profession.
Ready player one?
If you put a glorious video game pun in the headline of your press release, let’s face it, you’re going to grab Diary’s attention. So the high score goes to whoever titled Lendlease’s announcement of the signing of hip gaming brand Four Quarters (which specialises in restoring original arcade machines) at the latest phase of the £2.5bn Elephant Park regeneration thusly: “Elephant Park Tekken shape with signing of retro arcade bar.” Four Quarters, which has arcade bars in Peckham and Hackney Wick, is taking its biggest space yet, a 3,268 sq ft unit overlooking the destination’s new two-acre park. Set to launch in August, it will boast two large screen projection gaming areas and video game screens built into the walls that can be played from booths outside. More than 30 original arcade games will be on hand, from the early 80s up to the 2000s – including Diary’s early childhood favourites like Pac Man and Space Invaders (enjoyed on our second-hand Atari), our teenage obsession Street Fighter II (Amiga) and, one hopes for headline gag veracity alone, maybe even Tekken (never played it). Game on.
