Is nobody safe from retail’s misery? Not even Liam Gallagher? His fashion brand Pretty Green is reportedly preparing to call in the administrators – though we run the risk of his famous ire by calling it that. As Gallagher has tweeted: “It’s funny how when things are going well and hunky dory it’s pretty green and when it’s not so it’s Liam Gallaghers pretty green.” (sic) He then added “2 words” before offering a creative expletive we’re not certain we can use on a family Diary page, so best we don’t try. Then, when one fan suggested Mike Ashley might buy it, the former Oasis frontman gave a response we definitely can’t print. Apparently “everything will be OK in the end” and, Gallagher assures us, “we’re gonna reshuffle the pack that’s all”. But if the worst comes to the worst, we’re sure he’ll be sanguine about it. Don’t look back in anger, and all that.
Plain speak on planning
Regular Diary readers will be aware of the Tulip, offered a warm welcome to London’s future skyline on this page back in November, where we noted its resemblance to… asparagus. Others, it seems, were less delicate, judging by one official objection to the planning application put forward by J Safra Group (which has been recommended for approval by City of London officials). The comment, visible on the authority’s website, reads: “Remarkable. The Safra family wants to draw a giant penis on the historic skyline of London. Can we rightly consider this an act of vandalism? In the age of #metoo, this braggadocio seems in poor taste. Currently the building exterior is planned to be white. And it’s easy to see how this large white erection has reassured those in power.” Strong stuff, which we’re sure will be given due consideration by decision makers.
Taking it to the max
When it comes to networking, Diary is of the view that it is a necessary evil – and we’re not wholly convinced about the “necessary” part. But others are much more gung-ho about it, not least high-end architectural practice Adventure In Architecture. The firm conducts “extreme networking” to win new clients, build relationships and develop its staff, which so far has included scaling the three highest peaks in Africa and holding a black tie dinner on Everest. Property designers, surveyors and lawyers have all been donning crampons. According to Jon Beswick, managing director: “Pushing boundaries, testing our skills and going where others haven’t been before is what we do – it’s all about taking yourself out of comfort zones, overcoming difficulties, and building strong bonds.” Sounds exhausting to Diary – but, to be fair, so does mingling over drinks and nibbles.
The Tweeting Dead
A big hello to our new favourite Twitter follower, whose Dawn of the Dead Mall handle (@DawnOfDeadMall) gracefully combines two of our favourite discussion topics – the ailing high street and zombie movies. “When there are no more tenants the dead malls will walk the earth,” it quips as its short-but-sweet bio. The account seems to be charting the retail apocalypse fairly assiduously and, so far, it has to be said, pretty seriously. But these things always start slow. Fingers crossed we’ll see a bit more zombie action soon.
Having a Balls
Speaking at this week’s City Property Association lunch in London, dancer, climber and former shadow chancellor Ed Balls congratulated the CPA on a successful AGM that morning. “I gather there were decisions taken, no resignations and no indicative votes,” he said, drily. The well-fed guests were left to draw their own contrasts with events across town.
Unsung heroes no longer
Diary regularly writes about surveyors, auctioneers, lawyers, investors, architects, developers and many others from across the property spectrum, but we all-too-seldom acknowledge vital professionals without whom our jobs would be very dirty ones indeed: the cleaners. Well, let’s put that right, right now, with news that two shopping centre cleaners feature in a new music video for singer Jamie Lawson.
Now, Diary will admit to having had to look Lawson up, but it appears he is a proper musician, with a guitar and everything. He’s signed to Ed Sheeran’s record label, and is best known for his 2015 hit, Wasn’t expecting that. Nor, one imagines, were Pat Grogan and Bev Jones, of the Westgrove Group, who ended up being filmed during the making of the video for Lawson’s new single, “The Answer”. Lawson, we are told, “spent the day with Pat and Bev, as well as shoppers on Space Hoppers, at Market Place Shopping Centre in Bolton”.
According to the singer: “The staff were amazing, all very kind and helpful, the cleaners were ace and did a great cameo in the video, helping to set the story up. The strangest thing was how most customers seemed to walk straight by without batting an eyelid while I bounced past them on a space hopper, as though a man on a space hopper in the middle of town is an everyday occurrence… which maybe it is in Bolton!”
