“Sod this for a game of soldiers. I’ll run the bloody country myself.”
With a corgi stuffed under each arm and her eyes raised to the ceiling in sheer frustration, these are the words that fearless pundit and Twitter maestro General Boles reckons the Queen might utter come 7 May. That is just before she hops into an Uber taxi to 10 Downing Street to sort out the aftermath of one of the messiest and most inconclusive general election results Britain has ever seen.
This is one of 10 alternative scenarios Boles has whipped up for your reading pleasure in this Estates Gazette Politics Special. What is particularly alarming is that while the sketch in its entirety is the epitome of far-fetched satire, the chances of an unstable and unconvincing win is becoming increasingly likely.
Just 33 days to go until polling day and there is still no indication of a clear winner. The UK’s political leaders need to pep up those campaign faces.
Where are the sparks? The fireworks? The buzz? As far as election campaigns go, 2015 is not going to go down in history as the most rousing. Not so far, anyway. Broadcaster Andrew Neil suggested at last week’s City Property Association annual lunch that this is likely to be down to the fact – in part, at least – that neither David Cameron or Ed Miliband is even remotely confident they are going to win. “They are both grumpy and miserable about the whole thing,” he said. And he is probably right as factions on the left following the Scottish referendum now rival, if not usurp, those on the right and whichever party loses will be heading straight into a leadership election.
A quick glance at the most recent polls show that Labour and the Conservatives are still pretty much running neck-and-neck. But this week’s letter to The Telegraph, signed by 100 business figures (including several from the property industry) saying a Labour government would “threaten jobs and deter investment” could well kick off the campaign battle everyone has been waiting for.
Surely Labour will have to respond to what is being claimed as “the biggest endorsement ever by business leaders of a political party”? The questions over how, when or what with remain to be seen. But showing some grit will be crucial. Particularly following the widely criticised leaders’ debate last week, in which Cameron and Miliband were not only interviewed separately by Jeremy Paxman but the Labour leader was subjected to the one thing the Newsnight terrier’s interviewees must fear more than his wrath. His sympathy. The words, “Are you OK, Ed? Are you all right?” did nothing for the Labour leader’s reputation. And he will know that all too well.
Back to this week. Monday saw the dissolution of parliament and the start of purdah, so what better time for EG to publish a special politics issue, guest edited by Bellenden Local. Not only do we bring you exclusive policy updates from each of the major parties on transport infrastructure – arguably one of the biggest issues for UK property – but Tory planning and housing minister Brandon Lewis outlines the benefits of a localised planning system when it comes to expanding the UK’s towns and cities.
We also profile the political players who could be setting the real estate agenda in the next parliament and Have I Got News For You regular and former Labour political adviser Matt Forde makes his debut as EG’s newest columnist.
• Many thanks to our guest editor this week Phil Briscoe, managing director of Bellenden Local, whose winning bid in a LandAid auction earned him the chance to take the hot seat for this week’s edition of Estates Gazette. A great cause resulting in an issue packed full of political news, comment and features. Don’t miss Briscoe’s own comment piece on what impact the various election outcomes are likely to have on the property industry.
