It’s too late now…
Christie & Co has sent us a complimentary copy of its new publication How to buy a business. Is it also sending copies to CBRE?
Name change cock-up
So, the government has reversed the one post-election change that anyone actually noticed. After just a week of being the Department of Productivity, Energy & Industry, the DTI has gone back to being the DTI. And all because a handful of very childish chaps were calling it “Penis”.
Of course, had the PM got his way there would have been a rather more important post-election name change – at the ODPM. We assume that the ODPM without Big John P at the helm would simply be The Office.
Shunt threatens hunt (LEGAL dangers)
Thursday 12 May was not a brilliant day for Foxtons owner Jonathon (sp?) Hunt.
Hunt spent the day in the Central London County Court receiving a grilling from one of his contractors, Steve Hewitt.
Hewitt is claiming substantial damages from Hunt following a nasty accident when he claims fell from a quad bike (owned by Hunt, allegedly) on land (owned by Hunt, allegedly) into a pit (dug by Hunt, allegedly). (Legal: alleged or all known to be true)
Perilously for Hunt, Hewitt also happens to be the contractor employed by Foxtons to put up its boards and, according to allegations now being investigated by the police, take down those of rivals. It took a battery of solicitors and barristers to prevent Hewitt from mentioning any instructions he may have been given by Hunt, despite Hewitt’s best efforts to allude to them.
The same day Hunt’s former right-hand man, Peter Rollings, emerged as a direct rival to his former pal, after becoming owner (with Irish backers) of the more prestigious Marsh & Parsons chain.
And to cap it all, that day it was revealed that the number of house sales had plummeted by 40%. Still, as Hunt is by far the world’s richest estate agent, he can’t complain too much.
BCO: A friend in need
The attraction of this year’s BCO conference in Paris had nothing to do with speeches or lectures, and everything to do with networking in Paris in the springtime.
But Adrian Hill, head of office and industrial agency at CWHB, is probably wishing he had networked a little less. Hill generously took 10 of his clients out on the tiles in gay Paris and was left with a hefty £4,500 bill. Unfortunately, Hill’s credit card wasn’t able to take the hit and he had to rely on his junior, James Weedon, to pick up the tab.
BCO: Vive la GDP!
The keynote speech of this year’s BCO conference in Paris provided plentiful evidence of the rude health of the entente cordial. Comparing the UK and French markets, DTZ Jean Thouard chairman Philippe Leigeniel produced a raft of up-to-date figures for take-up, demand and vacancy levels, all of which showed that France undoubtedly possessed the upperhand.
Curiously, when it came to the GDP of each country Leigeniel was unable to produce anything post-2001. Leigeniel acknowledged that this may be because after 2001 the UK has had a higher GDP than France.
Lost in translation
An interesting debate on the relative merits of Paris’s La Defense and London’s Canary Wharf left both the British and French delegates assured that their market was best. Alas this was simply because the translation headphones broke down, leaving the non-bilingual entirely in the dark as to half of the commentary.
Of course, some speakers attempted to avoid this problem by speaking in another tongue, resulting in some interesting idioms.
The best effort undoubtedly came from Jean-Pierre Palise of the Institut d’Amenagement de la region Ile de France. Addressing a session on planning regimes Monsieur Palise began: “Let me present my body”.
The biggest misunderstanding was undoubtedly created by Sofitel having three hotels in La Defense. News reaches us that an army of very drunk agents arrived back at the wrong Sofitel from a night at favoured spot, Buddha’s Nightclub, and spent the rest of the night drunkenly trying to locate their bedrooms.
Google-ogle-oo
The BCO also presented the best excuse in case the boss finds pornography on your computer. “I wanted to find out how to get to the conference venue,” one delegate to the BCO conference tells us. “So I typed in the name of the hotel it was in Hilton and the name of the city Paris into the search engine on my computer. The next thing I know the screen is filled with some very naughty pictures of a rather skinny blonde girl.” For future reference, the correct name of that hotel is Hilton Paris La Defense.
Time to be off
Norman Haste’s resignation as Crossrail chief executive this week came as something as a surprise to many. What was the straw that broke the camel’s back? After all, the (very long) hybrid bill is slowly passing its way through parliament. Has funding the project finally hit an immovable obstacle?
Perhaps, post-election, and given the rather more parlous state of the public finances, the Treasury has become somewhat less enamoured of the £12bn project?
Tampering with United
American multi-billionaire Malcolm Glazer will plunge £300m of debt into Manchester United following his £790m takeover bid. But how is he going to raise cash to pay it off? The obvious routes include a traditional sale-and-leaseback. But perhaps Glazer will pull the same trick he used on the City of Tampa in Florida.
Glazer threatened to move his American Football team, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, out of Tampa to save money. Result? The city ended up paying for a new stadium on a 122-acre complex, where Glazer pays just $3.5m a year in rent.
Perhaps he should threaten Manchester with relocating the club to Stockley Park. Not only would it reduce Stockley Park’s 37% vacancy rate, but it would also put the club nearer to United’s fans what with it being in the south and close to the Heathrow airport arrivals lounge. You heard it here first.
