5 May, 11am Cushman Wakefield & Healey Baker’s London office, Portman Square. Anshul Jain of CWHB’s Global Corporate Services is priming me for my Indian expedition. He stares at me: “You’re going in late May?” “I am…yes.” “You know that’s the hottest time of the year?” “Oh, I’ll be fine.”
22 May, 12.30am Mumbai airport. 40ºc. Oh God, it’s one big sauna. Fourteen people offer to help me to the taxi. Thank God for the extra 80p for air-conditioning that I pay on top of my £4.50 taxi fare. Mumbai at night is like moving from a war film to a Hollywood film. Rubble outside pavements and dilapidated houses sit alongside beautiful, but fading, colonial buildings. This was, at one point, the city with the most expensive real estate in the world. Looking out the taxi window, that can be hard to believe.
23 May, 9am Day tour of Mumbai. Walking up to the magnificent Gateway of India, this sweating Irish woman is a prime target for hawkers. “No, I don’t want to be photographed with the monkey.” “No, I don’t want a big balloon I can thump people with.” A little boy asks for money. I go to drop a 50 rupee (60p) note into his hands, but he has only stumps. In a horribly comical moment, I have no idea what to do so place it in his stumps. The beggars are heartbreaking, but there is nowhere near the number I had thought would be here.
25 May, 9am Meet my photographer, Milan. Disaster. He doesn’t speak English, and I don’t speak a word of Hindi, or Marthi (the local language in Maharashtra). I become Marcel Marceau to describe what kind of photos I want. First rule: I don’t want to be in any of them. Waving arms, shaking head and pointing at the camera will, I hope, demonstrate this. Milan stares at me blankly. But I’m sure we have an understanding. Our driver, Pravin arrives, and drives us to Hiranandani, Powai.
11am Meet RK Rangan, managing director of Prudential Process Management Systems, at his call centre office. Walking through the Pru offices could be like walking through any modern western equivalent. In the reception, people are literally lining up to be interviewed for jobs.
1pm I’m melting. Prakash Shah, vice-president of marketing and finance for Hiranandani Group, is pointing out the Romanesque buildings that have sprung out of the ground over the past five years as part of the group’s Hiranandani Gardens township. It’s impressive, but there’s a Stepford Wives’ feel about the development.
3pm Meet Hemant Puthli, chief delivery office at Deloitte. Debate for ten minutes that this couldn’t possibly be the right address because the building looks in the raw stages of construction. But climbing passed workmen reveals a fully fitted out grade A office. Puthli points out several concrete pillars. “That’s going to be for us as well,” he says.
5pm Offices of the Maharashtra Industrial Development Corporation, the development board for the state government. Here, I’ve stepped back in time. It’s a wood-panelled, 1970s office and, gasp, no computer! The interview with Bhushan Gagrani, MIDC’s chief executive officer, is punctuated by pregnant pauses, his eyebrows pinched dramatically. He is talking seriously about wanting more UK companies to come to Maharashtra. Seeing Milan’s eyes grow tired, I get someone to translate that he can leave the interviews after taking his pictures.
26 May, 11am Knight Frank’s offices, Ballard Estate. I haven’t learned my lesson. Again I debate with myself, and silently with Milan, that this building with exposed pipes and a 1950s lift that can fit two, one being the bell boy, could not possibly be KF’s offices. Ten minutes later, I’m upstairs interviewing Pranay Vakil, chairman of KF, Mumbai. Have to keep in mind that EG’s Wardour Street, W1, building is hardly Canary Wharf. Five minutes into the interview, and ten clicks of the camera, Milan is out the door.
1pm Jones Lang LaSalle’s offices. Is it possible to sweat so much you can physically melt? A perspiration-free James Knowles glides into the room to shake my sweaty palm. How does he do it?
3pm Cushman & Wakefield’s office. It is the only office I’ve been to with branding outside — something Chan Chakravarti, joint managing director, is very proud of. Milan leaves early this time to get the photos developed, as I’m leaving for London early next day.
7pm Receive Milan’s photos. Oh dear God. I’m in nearly all of them. Look demented, hunched, frazzled and sweaty. Marcel Marceau would be turning in his grave.
27 May, 7.30am Heathrow, Terminal Four. 11ºc. I’m home, I’m freezing, and am already missing the madness of Mumbai.
