The result of the election remains anyone’s guess. But that has not stopped fearless pundit General Boles from staring intently into his crystal ball and coming up with a selection of alternative futures.
Which scenario will come closest to reality? Check out the EGi website tomorrow for all 10 scenarios and this Saturday’s magazine for our politics edition.
But to tide you over until then, here’s a flavour of what’s on offer.
Try again, kids
As expected, May’s election produced another hung parliament. But unlike in 2010, childish squabbling between the party leaders meant no coalition could be agreed upon. Nigel refused to play with David because David had been mean about Nigel’s friends. Ed and Alex fell out because Alex didn’t want Ed’s submarines in his pond and as for Nick, well, nobody wanted to play with Nick.
So the kids/MPs decided to have another election but found themselves a bit short of cash, having spent millions on billboard adverts and sherbet dips. It wasn’t too much of a problem for David: he had his rich friends empty their piggy banks and between them they came up with £10m. Ed wasn’t quite as lucky. His friends in the unions told him that unless he nationalised Starbucks and gave them all free macchiatos, they weren’t giving him another penny.
Because of this, David outspent Ed 20 to 1 on posters saying that David was great and Ed was rubbish and that people had to choose to be friends with either David or Ed. Sick of the immaturity of it all, the electorate reluctantly made David head boy for another five years.
Illustration by Gary Barker
