COMMENT How many times have you heard a comment or read a social media post and thought, “that person doesn’t know me, but they hate me”? For some people reading this it will be a familiar notion. I’ve had it a couple of times this past week. Apparently, I am a deviant and mentally unstable. I thought I was just gay!
June is Pride month and Pride month brings out rainbows, LGBTQ+ people, allies and homophobes. Yep, despite all the progress made in society, we still have them.
I had been working in real estate for seven years before I met another openly LGBTQ+ surveyor. It was my first Freehold event in 2011 and I still remember how some of the people I met didn’t want anyone to know they were a member of Freehold. They feared their careers would be held back because of their sexuality and they certainly didn’t want to open themselves up to homophobic “banter”.
It would be reasonable to assume that 12 years on from that event we don’t have those same worries and people are “out” if they want to be, right? Well, no, sadly not everyone is.
Stand up for what’s right
This week you can see the results of EG’s latest LGBTQ+ Attitudes & Actions in Real Estate survey. Things have moved on, and I’m pleased to see that 76% of people feel comfortable being out at work. Some 80% of those people who aren’t out want to be, but they fear it will impact their career or that their colleagues will respond negatively. Sadly, it is a fear that’s not unfounded, with more than two-fifths of the respondents saying they have experienced discrimination in the workplace, which for some people was so bad they left their role.
Workplaces in 2023 are evolving. More businesses are promoting cultures of belonging and wellbeing and encouraging their people to “bring their whole self to work”. Ultimately this is what we all want to do – go to work, to do a job that we love and then go home. It doesn’t seem unreasonable to expect to do this in an environment where you aren’t worried that you will be the butt of someone’s joke if you inadvertently say where you went out over the weekend or use your same-sex partner’s pronouns (I can tell you from experience it’s exhausting and takes a huge toll on your mental wellbeing).
Businesses can set out guidelines for inclusive workplaces but it’s down to all of us to put those intentions in to practice. Whether you are part of the LGBTQ+ community or not we can all make the workplace better by standing up to inappropriate language and behaviours.
If you hear homophobic comments, call it out – even when there are no openly LGBTQ+ people around or if you think it is meant as “bants”. Hearing this kind of language might be the reason someone isn’t out. And you don’t have to be gay to be offended.
“Just be kind”
It is also important to recognise the safety that working in a big city offers, especially in the London bubble. I have spoken to young surveyors working outside of big cities who are nervous about coming out. Many have said they think it will be OK, but they aren’t sure and if they come out there’s no going back. There is a lot colleagues can do to make this experience easier. Being a vocal ally, talking about LGBTQ+ relatives if you have them, saying something positive about Pride can all help. It doesn’t take much, but can make all the difference.
In the absence of an internal LGBTQ+ group or visible allies in your workplace, there are organisations such as Freehold, Building Equality and LGBTQ+ in FM which can offer support and a network to people from smaller businesses.
We can all do our bit to make our industry more inclusive, it starts with just being kind and trying to think about what we say and hear from other people’s perspectives. Earlier in the year I spoke to a former colleague who told me how, when he was growing up, he would freely use homophobic language but how now he understands the hurt this could have caused. He said to me: “I don’t understand it, but it’s not about me and if a person is happy then who am I to question them.” I’ll take that as a start.
This month, LGBTQ+ networks across the industry will be encouraging people to be allies. Rainbows will be brightening up logos and offices across the land and it is wonderful to see; but please know that being an ally is about more than wearing a lanyard, it is about taking action. Good allies are vocal and visible, they call out bad behaviour and they champion good.
Being an ally is not always comfortable, but it is when it is uncomfortable that it is needed most.
Kelly Canterford is director of Tigrou Consulting, co-chair of Freehold LGBT+ CIC, chair of ULI’s UK’s REDI committee and a member of the ULI’s executive committee
